Questions, answered
Frequently asked questions.
On overcoming anxiety, creating healthy boundaries, releasing guilt and shame, and how breath, the subconscious, and the nervous system work together to create lasting change.
How do I overcome anxiety when nothing else has worked?
If you’ve tried thinking your way out of anxiety — reading, reasoning, willpower — and it keeps returning, that’s usually a sign the pattern lives deeper than conscious thought. Anxiety is often the nervous system doing its job too well: protecting you based on old experiences. Hypnotherapy, breathwork and IEMT work at that subconscious and somatic level, which is why many clients notice shifts that years of “trying harder” couldn’t create.
How do I set clear boundaries without feeling guilty?
If setting boundaries floods you with guilt, it’s rarely a communication-skills problem — it’s a safety problem. Somewhere along the way, your nervous system learned that other people’s comfort was the price of belonging. Learning how to set clear boundaries starts with releasing that old imprint, so a “no” stops feeling like a threat.
How do I deal with guilt that never seems to switch off?
Chronic guilt — feeling responsible for everyone’s feelings, guilt when you rest, guilt when you choose yourself — is one of the most common patterns I see in women over 40. It’s usually a survival adaptation, not a moral truth. Together we explore where that imprint began and gently release it, so guilt returns to its proper role: an occasional signal, not a constant companion.
How do I deal with shame?
Shame is the belief that something is wrong not with what you did, but with who you are — and it tends to hide beneath anxiety, perfectionism and people pleasing. Because shame is an identity imprint, approaches like IEMT that work directly with self-concept can be particularly helpful. You don’t have to relive painful memories to release shame.
Can anxiety affect my relationships?
Very much so. Overcoming anxiety in relationships often means noticing the survival patterns that run in connection with others — anticipating moods, avoiding conflict, abandoning your needs to keep the peace. As your nervous system settles and old imprints release, many clients find their relationships change naturally.
Do you offer coaching as well as hypnotherapy?
Yes. Alongside clinical hypnotherapy, I’m a trained life coach, and coaching is woven through our work together — helping you integrate the shifts from sessions into real, everyday change: how you communicate, set boundaries, rest, and relate to yourself.
What does hypnosis feel like?
Most people describe it as a deeply relaxed, focused state — similar to being absorbed in a book or film. You remain aware and in control throughout, and you can’t get “stuck” in hypnosis.
In their words
From Women who have chosen themselves
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Lily Alan
Seeing creates choice.
Choice creates freedom.
© 2020 Lily Alan. All rights reserved.